Not a Fan – Part 4

I’m back! So this series should have been done yesterday but I got super sick on Tuesday and didn’t even want to get out of bed. Then, on top of that, we had a minor snow storm come through our area…so I REALLY didn’t want to get out of bed. I am, however, feeling so much better! 🙂

Anyway, you can read my previous Not a Fan posts here. 🙂

Not a Fan is a book written about Kyle Idleman in which he talks about the difference between a fan of Jesus and a follower of Jesus. A lot of us THINK we are followers of Jesus but when it’s laid out in text the reality is that we are only devote fans.  Not a Fan challenges us to re-evaluate our relationship with Jesus. Are we living for Him for ourselves or are we living for Him for HIm? (Say it slowly…it makes sense…I promise!) 🙂

Here is video #4 :

Have I sacrificed to follow Jesus?  I took a look at my life and I up until recently I had not.  It hadn’t “hurt” me to “follow” Jesus. It had always been EASY for me to “follow” Jesus. This was because I was merely a FAN of Jesus. I want to share with you all the first time I realized FOLLOWING Jesus was not easy.

The story begins about a year and a half ago.  After about 4 years of not singing I started to get my feet wet again. Long story short, I ended up singing with a really cool band. I sang with some of the best musicians in Amarillo. We played at a lot of bars around town and did a lot of private parties.  I loved it. I was meeting new people and making a little extra cash at the same time.  It was something that I had wanted for a long time…to be backed up by an awesome band.

Well, when I started letting God back into my life His conviction slowly started growing inside of me.  I knew what God was trying to tell me.  I knew that He wanted me to quit the band.  One Wednesday morning I remember waking up knowing that I had to do it that day.  I kept putting it off. Why? Because I didn’t want to quit. I loved singing…that was all I ever wanted.  I remember on that day one of the guys from the band called and asked me if I wanted to sing that night at a restaurant…it was Wednesday…church Wednesday. Talk about God really putting it out there in front of me.  I had to choose…the band or God.  I felt that God was really testing me. That He really wanted to know if my heart was completely in it…and at that point it was so I quit.


It was really hard for me. I’m ashamed to say I even cried a little.  You see…that band was all I ever wanted for the longest time.  Music is my passion and always has been. It was my escape. It was a way for me to release my creativity. It was a way to express myself.  I knew my parents were going to be a little disappointed because they knew how much I loved singing with the band.  It was really hard.

…but God is so GOOD.  He doesn’t ask you to do these things for him if he didn’t have a BIGGER and BETTER plan. That is the part that we sometimes don’t trust him with as much as we should. That same Wednesday, just a couple of hours after I had quit, my friend asked me if I would sing for her ministry’s service that night.  We had talked about it before but had never really made a decision. Right at that moment I felt God telling me that He had my back. That He knew it was a hard decision for me but that I could still SING. Since then I’ve sang multiple times at church and I’ve absolutely loved it!  Nothing…NOTHING has ever filled me more that singing for God and to be able to help people connect with the Holy Spirit, the way the praise and worship team at church did for me, gives me that much more gratification.

My point is…yes, following Jesus is hard…but He will make it so worth it for you. When you come to Jesus he will give you the desires of your heart.   {Psalm 37:4}


Trust Him friends. His faithfulness is beautiful.  Have a super blessed day! – Moni<3

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